Mixed Bag of Emotions
02/21/08 21:46 Categories: Life
Just to preface this post. I am tired and when I am
tired I start thinking and that usually gets me into
trouble ;-). But anyway this is something I have
struggled with for a long time. So I am just trying
to pick up all the pieces and try to make sense of
it. After I make sense of it all I can go on with my
life and live happily ever after. But I am afraid
that I wont solve this puzzle tonight but I would
like to lay down some of the pieces here.
As you can see I titled this "mixed bag of emotions". And by emotions I mean....a mix of them :P. I have been praying lately for God to keep my emotions in check. It is so easy to focus on what my emotions want and lose focus on what God wants in my life. Well there you have it Philip, you just got to pray more and then you can live happily ever after. But wait.....there is more.
Some of my emotions are good and God definitely puts His blessing on those as long as they are handled the right way. But then I have emotions that come from the past. Emotions of failure. It's like those emotions don't want me to move on and they keep reminding me how often I failed in the past. There's a huge battle going on in my life. In one sense I want my (good/bad) emotions to disappear so that I can move on serving the Lord without being in this constant struggle. On the other hand I know I can't control my feelings so I have to deal with them.
Well I already know the answer. I talked to someone last summer and explained my struggle and all she said was: You have to trust God and move on. I lack in that area big time. I keep making the excuse that I can't fully trust God since I know I failed many a times before....why would it be any different this time?
Now don't go thinking that I struggle with this just because I am single. This struggle runs a lot deeper than that! God certainly forgave me of all my sins that I committed in the past but those sins sure like to pop up once in a while and remind me of my failures. I just have to trust God that I can do it with Him and that I don't have to make the same mistakes again. All I need to do is focus on Him and keep on serving Him with all that I have and I will be victorious.
As you can see I titled this "mixed bag of emotions". And by emotions I mean....a mix of them :P. I have been praying lately for God to keep my emotions in check. It is so easy to focus on what my emotions want and lose focus on what God wants in my life. Well there you have it Philip, you just got to pray more and then you can live happily ever after. But wait.....there is more.
Some of my emotions are good and God definitely puts His blessing on those as long as they are handled the right way. But then I have emotions that come from the past. Emotions of failure. It's like those emotions don't want me to move on and they keep reminding me how often I failed in the past. There's a huge battle going on in my life. In one sense I want my (good/bad) emotions to disappear so that I can move on serving the Lord without being in this constant struggle. On the other hand I know I can't control my feelings so I have to deal with them.
Well I already know the answer. I talked to someone last summer and explained my struggle and all she said was: You have to trust God and move on. I lack in that area big time. I keep making the excuse that I can't fully trust God since I know I failed many a times before....why would it be any different this time?
Now don't go thinking that I struggle with this just because I am single. This struggle runs a lot deeper than that! God certainly forgave me of all my sins that I committed in the past but those sins sure like to pop up once in a while and remind me of my failures. I just have to trust God that I can do it with Him and that I don't have to make the same mistakes again. All I need to do is focus on Him and keep on serving Him with all that I have and I will be victorious.
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